Yes, it’s dark inside

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Yes, it’s dark inside

I’m perfectly well aware that many of my Alex Conner stories have grit, darkness, and sadness within their pages. But, I also know I have made them heroic, full of humor, and for some of the characters and readers, life changing. Alex’s backstory was something I struggled with. As with most central characters, I wanted, no needed, her to have overcome incredible odds and intense circumstances. One night in 2000, after hours of dancing with friends in San Diego, one of my closest friends opened up to me about what a man did to her when she was a child. I was so completely heartbroken for her as I lay there watching her always smiling face fall into sadness, but then it came to me that I can share her story and give to her a powerful ending to that nightmare within my story. She was gracious in allowing me to merge parts of her into the Alex character, and I hope the ending of Trust gave her something in return, something for all who have been abused. She is a survivor and someone I truly look up to every day.

What I didn’t count on was the transformation I would have now two years later. Yes, I put pieces of myself, my experiences, and piece of the people I’ve met in my life into each part of the first book, but I wasn’t fully aware that I was also healing from my own past. Parts of Alex took on characteristics of a young me trying to claw my way out of toxic and abusive relationship that lasted over two years. These relationships, they don’t start out that way. It’s a slow process where love, or what feels like love, comes first. Then the first violent act is one disguised as protection or jealousy, and a young girl mistakes that for unbridled love- a prince charming fighting for her honor. For me, the ugly side of him reared its head most often in conjunction with his drinking. As we became closer, it was revealed that he was a victim of his own abuser, a continuation of a cycle he was dragged into, seemingly without a choice, a way out, or even understanding of what was happening to him, to us, and to our future relationships.

No one would understand, as even my friends and family could not fathom why I was with this boy. Even my grandfather was taken aback when he wore a hat to meet him for the first time. Maybe an insignificant thing to a teenage girl raised in a different time, but looking back I can now clearly see the disrespect that my grandfather immediately saw and felt. And yes, I stayed even though there were multiple times I was scared of him, when a blade danced along my back, when I was pushed so hard I fell down a flight of stairs, when he attacked my friends verbally and at one time physically, we he lied, cheated, swore, threw things, hit his own friends, and even fought his own abuser, his father, amongst delicately wrapped Christmas presents while his mother wailed in the background, her tears reflecting a rainbow of color amid the twinkling lights.

When you love someone, and see their own tortured past, would any of you stay and try to save them, as I did? Many of you would have walked away long before I did. I tried, many times. Our relationship was tumultuous. Broken off and pieced back together more times than I can count. A staff member saw an interaction he and I had in the hallway, how he was talking to me and the way I was holding myself. Soon after I was called into the guidance office. While speaking with my counselor for the first time someone used the words “abusive relationship”. Yes, friends and family warned me away from him, but those words were powerful coming from someone outside of my life. When she called him in so we could talk, and I have seen him furious, but I have never seen him talk to an adult aside from his father in that manner. I could almost see steam rising off his body; his eyes bore into mine only once, telling me I betrayed him that this should have been our life, our secret to bear. How dare I tell this stranger a thing? And yes, we broke up, again, but we did get back together, even trying this battered relationship as I went away to college, but my counselor’s words always stayed with me, a warning in the back of my mind. I saw another counselor at college; it felt good to speak to someone who wasn’t close to me, who would listen to my secrets, who would help me listen to myself. So much so that I longed to study the human mind, psychology, and part of me longed to help others like me; however, that didn’t come till much later in life.

I left that abusive relationship behind many years ago. But some of the scars followed me, just as they did Alex. Trust was hard to come by, especially when dating, and some of the ways he treated me impacted my behavior, as if tendrils of the monster he turned into left a mark upon my being. I became jealous easily, was less confident, sometimes quick to anger, but one thing that stuck with me, helping me through it all when I didn’t want anyone to know what I allowed to happen, was my love of writing. Throwing my thoughts on paper led to poem books, many of which reflected my struggles with relationships. A novel was what I really hoped to write, and even though he never came to mind when I cycled through plots and character development, it was there, that darkness that had left a mark inside my heart and mind.

When I finally decided that I really wanted to continue my education, my high school counselor’s memory came back to me. Someone had saved me once, and even though it took time for me to really listen, I finally did. I wanted to be that voice for some other boy or girl who just needed to see and hear the truth. As I went through my master’s program in counseling it really shined a light on my life. There were parts of me I wanted to improve. Since I was going to be a mentor and counselor for young lives, I wanted to make sure I was someone they would look up to as well as someone they could learn from.

When Trust was completed twelve years after I completed my counseling program, I didn’t think of him, or the painful part of my past, at least not consciously. But as the years have gone by since the novel was completed, I have read books and posts about survivors of abuse and something in me stirred. I re-read the passages of how Alex felt when she had no control over her own life—the helplessness. How the abuse she suffered impacted her even when she thought she had gotten rid of her abuser for good. But in the end, he is gone and that part of her life is over. She could move on. She could forgive herself. Trust allowed my psyche to beat back my own lingering demons, to heal from what the relationship had done to me and to stop being so angry at myself for what I thought was weakness so long ago. So yes, this book was for me in more ways then I had realized. It is for all survivors of abusive relationships, for my friend, for anyone who has been a victim, who has felt helpless, and who has suffered at the hands of someone who controlled their body, mind, and soul.

Last year I finally revisited to the place I lived during high school and college summers, the place where this relationship began, where I was reminded that it truly existed. I never wanted to return to the small town in Colorado, I felt a relentless resentment towards this place we had moved to during my seventh grade year and that I never went back to after the Christmas of 2000. This summer I returned to visit family who still remained in the desert town of Western Colorado and I realized I hated who I was during many of the years I was there, but it had nothing to do with the actual place- the beautiful Colorado desert. It was truly a heart opening experience. I had finally allowed myself to love this place and to forgive myself. Yes, the old me had stayed because he had been only a child when he was warped into someone who didn’t know anything other than that type of love-a raw angry, controlling, terrible love. I am thankful that I was strong enough so that my part in that cycle of abuse was forever broken. As I shift away from myself, as it is my nature to be empathic and caring, I hope he has also found the strength to break the cycle. That he has love in his life a, genuine and kind love, one that he didn’t have from someone who was supposed to care for him the most.

Thank you for reading this soul-bearing post, and I hope everyone had an amazing holiday season!

Parker

Parker Sinclair

Founder, Owner & Author

Rawlings Books, LLC

http://www.RawlingsBooks.com

Author of Trust: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book OneTruth: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book Two, & Forbidden: An Alex Conner Chronicle Novella adult contemporary fantasy novels and Eve of the Exceptionals (YA fantasy releasing January 2oth, 2016).

Eve of the Exceptionals

Pre-order info

Webpage: http://www.parkersinclair.net

Sample/Purchase my books: http://www.parkersinclair.net/buy-a-good-book

Amazon Author Page:  http://amzn.to/1XIDwzO

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/ParkerSinclairbooks/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parker.sinclair.73

Instagram: @ParkerSinclairauthor Twitter: @Parker_Sinclair Snapchat: @PSinclairauthor

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/9860680.Parker_Sinclair

Blog: http://www.parkersinclair.net/blog

Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWQE3qvMyB5DEZ9wwdz8rOQ

 

 

 

 

The Author Takeover

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Becoming an author with aspirations to make it my life’s work comes with a quite a bit of internal drive, research skills, social media savvy, networking, time, and a lot of patience.  In the last month I have realize how new I am to all of this by researching how to do an author takeover, what a street team is, and unfortunately being one of many authors and sponsors scammed by the hopes of a author signing  event in Richmond, Virginia.  I am happy to report that the event was thankfully raised from the ashes by some determined, and heart broken authors.

If you are anything like the me from last month, you may be asking what in the world an author takeovers or a street teams are anyhow.  Well you are in luck!  I finally feel educated enough to share my knowledge in hopes of helping other budding authors, and to spread the word about the awesome Parker Sinclair Street Team (PSST), The Alex Conner Crew.

This will be a two part blog, so let’s start with the Author Takeover.  What is this exactly?  Where are these events that you are being invited to, asked to do, and how do you do them? I promise to cover all of these questions and more.

The Author Takeover

What is it:

  • When an author posts information about themselves and their written works of art on a Facebook page.  Most authors post excerpts from their books, where readers can buy, their social links, inspirational quotes, games, images, and giveaways.  Be sure to add links to your images, book titles, and your name.

Where:

  • An author takeover occurs virtually on a Facebook page of a book promoter, signing event attendees, publicist, another author, blogger, or your own.  It may be one day with multiple authors in time slots, or over a certain period of time leading up to a major book event.  The goal is to highlight each attending author to help them gain exposure, get their books into hands of readers, and to meet new fans.

How long:

  • Most time slots designated for each author are 1/2 to 1 hour in length.  Authors can expect to provide 5-10 posts during the takeover.

Essentials with examples:

  • Author photo & introduction of your work
    • Greet your guests and host, include genre(s), story about how you started to write, anecdotal/funny stories, etc.

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Hi everyone! My name is Parker Sinclair & I’m excited for this awesome author takeover!   I find myself genre confused since lovers of paranormal romance, adult contemporary fantasy, & adult urban fantasy enjoy my books. I am a scientist turned counselor turned writer who now believes I was the writer first, but I had lost her path. The great thing about destiny is that you’ll always find your way back to where you’re meant to be, and you pick up cool experience and lessons that make you even all the better for it all.

  • Social media, preorder forms (if you have an upcoming event) & how/where to buy links.

My Webpage: www.ParkerSinclair.net

Google doc preorder form for RVA Romance Readers Event: http://goo.gl/forms/CJZl9Xe6pL

Purchase &Sample my books: http://www.parkersinclair.net/buy-a-good-book 

Like me on Facebook: ParkerSinclairbooks

Instagram:  @parkersinclairauthor

Twitter:  Parker_Sinclair

My Goodreads Profile

My Smashwords Profile

** Pre-order forms were new to me as well.  Many signing events encourage posting them for authors to get a good idea of how many books to bring.  Google forms has tons of templates to choose from. https://www.google.com/forms/about/

  • Cover photos and description of book(s)
    • Book cover posts give you a good jumping off point to list giveaways & the rules.
    • Giveaway verbiage example:  Tonight I am delighted to giveaway one ebook of Trust.  Change your profile picture to the book cover of Trust, and comment on this post with a sentence including the word Trust.  Winner based on creativity.  Contest ends 11:59pm/date and the winner will be notified via PM.

Trust: The Alex Conner Chronicles Book One

Alex Conner’s nights of event planning and partying in San Diego, California have taken a turn for the worse as nightmares invade her mind on a daily basis. The memories of the vile man she exiled using the powers inherited from her mother and grandmother are all but breaking into her living hours, and nothing is working to keep her nightmares at bay. Will she ultimately be the one responsible for bringing this horror back into her life? Who can she trust and how is she to deal with the draw she has towards a new man in her life – a man who is definitely more than meets the eye? Visit www.ParkerSinclair.net for a sample and where to buy!

  • Excerpts from book(s):
    • Images are shown to be more popular than lengthy excerpts.
    •  Try small excerpts on an image, and perhaps more within the post.

Excerpt from Trust:  The Alex Conner Chronicles Book One

I couldn’t find her at first as my eyes followed the trunk of the tree all the way up its thickness. Legs began to form, followed by a waist, breast, and her head. The branches and leaves above became a beautifully, horrifying sight as they flowed from her head creating a mesmerizing image of gorgeously intertwining curls of hair. She looked at me, her eyes glowing emerald green for the first time. They were an exact reflection of my own, and I stumbled back a step sensing the power in them, knowing her power was a part of me.

 

  • Games
    • Get your audience engaged with games
    • I enjoy posting a quote or image, and then giving instructions.
    • quote1.png

    ~    Share one brave and daring thing you’ve done in your life that you are super proud of.

  • Close out the Author Takeover Event:
    • Close the event with thank you’s to your host, fans, supporters, and other authors. A collage of your books, all of your social media links, and asking for any questions or comments are fantastics additions to your final post.  Poster_NoDate
  • I want to thank Vicki Drane for setting up todays author takeover.  Winners: I will notify each winner by private Facebook message as well as post on my FB fan page ParkerSinclairbooks . Your ebook prizes will be gifted through Amazon and the paper back of Trust via snail mail—good luck to all of my awesome new fans.

    Before I go, here are my links one more time:

     

My Webpage: www.ParkerSinclair.net

Google doc preorder form for RVA Romance Readers Event: http://goo.gl/forms/CJZl9Xe6pL

Purchase &Sample my books: http://www.parkersinclair.net/buy-a-good-book 

Like me on Facebook: ParkerSinclairbooks 

Instagram:  @parkersinclairauthor

Twitter:  Parker_Sinclair

My Goodreads Profile

My Smashwords Profile

So there you have it!  The basics of what an author takeover is folks. I hope my experiences and research aid you in your own takeovers. Don’t be afraid of them, and check out other author’s takeover events from time to time to get lots of great ideas, and a chance to win free books and swag.  This blog is only the tip of the iceberg, so keep creating and writing!  Next up, The Street Team.

Please follow my blog by adding your email to the right on your desktop computer, or by scrolling to the bottom on your device.

Have a wonderful day, evening, life!  Stay positive, stay focused, and keep loving what you do each and every day.

Parker

www.ParkerSinclair.net