It was a special night for my girlfriends and I. We don’t get to hang out much without the kiddos or the significant others in our lives, so when I got the house to myself for an evening, we all made delicious food to share. It was inevitable that an impromptu 90’s Hip Hop dance party would ensue right? I have to admit that the Pandora station Hip Hop BBQ radio totally rocked it that night. Each and every one of us bonded on a new level as guards were totally brought down, and we were free to dance, laugh, and be ourselves. My body laughed and smiled as my soul looked towards the moon and howled with delight at the fun and hilarity of it all.
When my husband came home with my youngest in tow, I was delighted to see her and took her up to bed. As she lies in my arms, I sang and rocked her, holding her little hands against my chest and feeling the ebb and flow of energy off her, into me and back into her. Yes, she seems familiar to me. She is my daughter, she is of my flesh and blood, but an awakening in my mind also recognizes her and something older, someone I have known for my entire life. This is the feeling we get when we connect to those who we have lost. Is it spiritual? Chemical? Is it the fact that my body sings with recognition due to the make-up of her genes? Chemical make-up? Pieces, building blocks, all parts of us that pass down from generation to generation. Is this the actual reincarnation?
Tears fill my eyes, and I close them to snuggle against my daughter’s head. Breathing her in, I put myself in her shoes and trying to remember what it felt like to be in my mother’s arms just like this. And then the strangeness of the feelings overwhelmed me as I was holding tight to pieces of my mother right now, cradling, cuddling…a full circle of life, cells, genes, spirit, and love and I am happy. My world sings around me; the moon shines thru the shades and my soul howls.
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